he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
