I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
