hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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