ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
