Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
