maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
