you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
