you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
