people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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