I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
