How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
