i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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