Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
