I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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