Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
