Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
