your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
P.S. I can't hear my feet
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
