I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
