Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
