woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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