I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
