And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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