I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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