it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
