I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
