new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
