i would punch a child for taco bell
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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