Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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