I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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