big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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