just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
