is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
