the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
