I wannas sexs uuuuu
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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