Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
