I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
