A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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