your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
