ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Nicole vs. Life
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
