just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
