Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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