Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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