Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
