hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
