omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
