So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
