i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
