I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
someone owes me an orgasm
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
