he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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