Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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